NORMUND: AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO BE A GOOD IDOL!!!!11
After watching last night's so called "performances" by the remaining Idol's who remain after Normund's shock boot, it was all the more apparent that the show needs to bring back Normund. This season's crop is completely lacking in both star quality and political correctness. Had Normund been backstage to offer his sage advise, the following would not have happened last night:
1. Lil wouldn't have mocked middle-aged female fans by wearing that huge ass under her pants.
2. Scott would have shown respect by looking the judges in the eyes. (Um. It's called manners, SCOTT.)
3. Jasmine wouldn't have been there in the first place.
4. Michael wouldn't have mocked middle-aged male fans by wearing Dad jeans.
5. Danny wouldn't have mocked drunk uncles at weddings. (Guess what? They have feelings too, DANNY.)
6. Allison wouldn't have made fun of "cutters." (Great. Now they've all rushed out and bought a fresh package of razors. Nice going, ALLISON!)
7. Anoop wouldn't have perpetuated the myth that only children are self-indulgant and lacking in self-awareness. (Yes, Anoop. It WAS your perogative to sing "Beat It." But, time to share the cool sings with the other kids who can actually perform them properly.)
8. Megan wouldn't have offended robins by implying that they caw rather than tweet. (Great. No Spring for any of us this year. Thanks a lot, MEGAN.)
9. Kris wouldn't be married. (What is his PROBLEM??? Does he think that's funny, toying with his fans affections like that?)
10. Jorge wouldn't have mocked people with one wonky eye. (That's just plain rude, Jorge! Maybe that's an unincorporated territory kind of thing, but we don't roll that way in the STATES.)
11. Matt wouldn't have shoved it in everyone else's face that he's actually an accomplished pianist by performing so well. (Maybe they do things differently in Michigan, Matt, but here in Buckeye country, we don't tolerate that kind of arrogance. Take it down a notch.)
12. Adam wouldn't have confused emo kids by stealing their hairstyle while simultaneously dressing in powder blue.
13. Alexis would quit reminding older viewers of their own lost youth by being both cute and sexy. (Beyond the pale, Alexis! Beyond. The. Pale.)
And they call themselves Idols? Hmmph.
1. Lil wouldn't have mocked middle-aged female fans by wearing that huge ass under her pants.
2. Scott would have shown respect by looking the judges in the eyes. (Um. It's called manners, SCOTT.)
3. Jasmine wouldn't have been there in the first place.
4. Michael wouldn't have mocked middle-aged male fans by wearing Dad jeans.
5. Danny wouldn't have mocked drunk uncles at weddings. (Guess what? They have feelings too, DANNY.)
6. Allison wouldn't have made fun of "cutters." (Great. Now they've all rushed out and bought a fresh package of razors. Nice going, ALLISON!)
7. Anoop wouldn't have perpetuated the myth that only children are self-indulgant and lacking in self-awareness. (Yes, Anoop. It WAS your perogative to sing "Beat It." But, time to share the cool sings with the other kids who can actually perform them properly.)
8. Megan wouldn't have offended robins by implying that they caw rather than tweet. (Great. No Spring for any of us this year. Thanks a lot, MEGAN.)
9. Kris wouldn't be married. (What is his PROBLEM??? Does he think that's funny, toying with his fans affections like that?)
10. Jorge wouldn't have mocked people with one wonky eye. (That's just plain rude, Jorge! Maybe that's an unincorporated territory kind of thing, but we don't roll that way in the STATES.)
11. Matt wouldn't have shoved it in everyone else's face that he's actually an accomplished pianist by performing so well. (Maybe they do things differently in Michigan, Matt, but here in Buckeye country, we don't tolerate that kind of arrogance. Take it down a notch.)
12. Adam wouldn't have confused emo kids by stealing their hairstyle while simultaneously dressing in powder blue.
13. Alexis would quit reminding older viewers of their own lost youth by being both cute and sexy. (Beyond the pale, Alexis! Beyond. The. Pale.)
And they call themselves Idols? Hmmph.
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